Welcoming a newborn is an incredible time filled with joy, love, and a whole lot of sleep deprivation. While you may anticipate those first nights at home to be, ummm, quite sleepy, many new parents are surprised by a phenomenon known as “second night syndrome.”
Maybe you have fallen victim to second night syndrome and maybe you haven’t (yet). Either way, it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with this concept so you are armed and prepared if you find yourself in the thick of it. Come along with me to learn all about it so you can prepare for second night syndrome like a pro!
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What is second night syndrome?
Second night syndrome refers to the, all too common, drastic shift in baby’s demeanor (for lack of better words) that occurs from the first night to the second. Before I get too far into it, let me say this, second night syndrome is normal, but that certainly doesn’t mean that it’s easy.
Some, but not all, brand new babies are pretty worn out that very first night after birth. I mean, I totally get it mama, who went through hours (or days) of labor? Labor can be a lot for your little one too. Learning how to breathe, live, and just ~*be*~ outside of you is exhausting. That second night though, and actually the few that follow, it seems as if most babies get the hang of things and perk right up.
Here are some pretty common second night syndrome characteristics:
- Fussy and unsettled: your baby might be restless and difficult to settle
- Cluster feeding: there’s a good chance your baby will want to eat all.the.time that second, third, etc night, cluster feeding can be frustrating and absolutely exhausting, utilize your support system, remind yourself it’s temporary, and give yourself grace, it won’t last forever
- Awake and alert: your baby might be more awake and more alert after that initial night and not have as many of those long sleep stretches
Why does second night syndrome happen?
Second night syndrome, while very common, isn’t exactly fun, especially if you are the parent. So why, exactly, does second night syndrome happen? There are actually a few reasons why your baby might experience this shift.
One reason, especially if you find yourself with a particularly “cluster-feedy” (not a real word) baby, is that your baby is trying to get your milk to come in faster. It’s all about supply and demand when it comes to breastmilk. Frequent feeding signals your body to produce more milk. Most mama’s milk comes in around day two or three postpartum.
Another reason for second night syndrome is that your baby is just trying to adjust to life outside of you. Life outside of the womb can be louder, brighter, colder, etc. It’s not uncommon for them to be sleepy those first 24 hours or so but once they submerge from their fog, babies sure have a lot to get used to in the post-belly world.
Tips for surviving second night syndrome
Now that we’ve established you likely will experience some degree of second night syndrome with your newborn, let’s talk about what you can do to get through it. Here are my top 5 tips for surviving second night syndrome.
1. Be prepared!
By reading this article you are already one step ahead! Simply knowing that second night syndrome exists and that it likely will happen to you is more than a lot of new parents, so, round of applause.
But really, not knowing what’s normal and what’s not is enough to drive a non-hormonal, non-postpartum, well-rested person crazy. Sprinkle in some sleep deprivation and a drastic hormone shift and it’s a perfect storm. To continue learning ways you can prepare, keep on reading.
2. Skin-to-skin
Never underestimate the power of skin-to-skin! The benefits of skin-to-skin are endless and they extend far beyond the first postpartum hour (aka the golden hour.) I won’t go into all the benefits, because I have a post for that below, but I simply cannot stress how effective skin-to-skin can be when it comes to soothing your little one.
3. Don’t be afraid to let people help you
Not only do I encourage you to let people help you but I highly encourage you to ask for help when you need it. Whether you’ve been through it one time or 5 times, there’s no denying that postpartum can be downright hard.
Take the time to identify your support people during pregnancy. Don’t hesitate to lean on them if and when you need them. Your support network might involve your partner, a family member, a best friend, a coworker, a neighbor, or a combination of some of the above. It can be intimidating and unnatural to ask for and receive help but if there’s ever a time to accept it then postpartum is most definitely the time!
4. Don’t be afraid to say no
On the flip side of being open to asking for and accepting help, I also encourage you to say no to visitors when necessary. Hopefully it doesn’t come to this but don’t be afraid to put your foot down and be stern (or task your partner with it!)
But truly, those first few days can be tough, mama. You are likely in some pain, there’s a really good chance you are hardly sleeping, your hormones are all over the place, oh, and you have a whole new human to care for.
Even if it’s family or your closest friends, if the thought of having visitors stresses you or your partner out, just say no or at least not right now.
5. Be patient with yourself
As someone who has been in your exact shoes twice, I know just how hard it can be. It’s easy to get caught up with and obsess over every single little detail when it comes to your little one. The eating, the sleeping, the pooping, allllllll the things. When this happens, it’s natural to lose sight of all the amazing things you have done and continue to do for your baby.
Maybe you write something on a notecard or piece of paper and tape it around your house or maybe you just make an effort to frequently remind yourself. Either way, giving yourself patience and grace can go a long way when it comes to second night syndrome, the newborn days, and just parenting in general.
Wrapping up
If you made it this far into the article you deserve a pat on the back…only joking, sort of. But really, you are taking the time and doing the work to equip yourself with some tools to help you through a potentially very difficult (and beautiful!) time – and that is something to be proud of.
I don’t know about you but I will take being prepared over being completely blindsided any ol’ day. Especially if and when the blindsiding coincides with being in the fragile state of postpartum and caring for a newborn.
Take this information, tuck it in your back pocket, and don’t forget to reference it during those first few postpartum days. The likelihood you will experience some level of second night syndrome is high, but that doesn’t mean that second night syndrome will completely dominate you.
If you enjoyed this article be sure to direct your attention to some of my other free pregnancy, birth, and postpartum resources! I have listed a few for you below but you can find so many more on my website, Mommy Labor Nurse.
- Your Guide to Preparing for Postpartum
- Postpartum Essentials for Mom and Baby
- Pumping Essentials: 10 Things Every Pumping Mama Needs
